It’s Wednesday here at Quiet Graces and that means today is the day where wives are digging in to the dirt in our own marriage and, with God’s grace, growing to be better wives. Today I’m writing a note of rebuke and encouragement to the strong-willed wives. I can’t believe I wrote this… I’m not sure I want to read it.

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Dear Strong Willed Wife (of whom I am the chief),

You can’t do this on your own.  The reason you feel like you’re doing it all alone in your marriage is likely because you are.  Because you won’t let him help. And worst yet, you likely won’t ask for what you need, instead believing the lie that he should read your mind.  Speak up.  Ask for what you need.  Odds are pretty good he’s just been waiting to step in a rescue you from distress, when you’re ready to let him.

And while we’re talking about how you can’t do this by yourself, I want you to hear this, too. You can’t always have your way. His way might be better than yours… but it might not.  Either way you’re going to have to ask yourself: is this worth the fight in the end or can I surrender here to his wants?

A continual dripping on a rainy day
and a quarrelsome wife are alike;
to restrain her is to restrain the wind
or to grasp oil in one’s right hand. Proverbs 27:15-16

That’s us.  Do you want to be a continual dripping on a rainy day (with three toddlers climbing the wall and shrieking in your house)?  I thought not.

Let’s resolve together to count our husbands as more important than the cause we’re championing.

Submission is freedom. It’s not a curse.  It’s a bowing of your strong will to another so that you can enjoy your relationships.  Strong willed wife, submission might also be a a place to help you grow in godliness.  After all Jesus hubled himself and “did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:6-8)”

Maybe humbling ourselves is the best thing we can do for our marriage.

What else have you learned being a strong willed wife?  How can we encourage each other toward godliness?

Working through this all with you,

Melissa (Chief Sinner of the Strong-Willed Wives)