Sisters, I don’t want to start Construction School without making one thing very loud and clear about our motivation here.

No matter how hard we work, we will never be “good enough” as wives.

I’m not sure how you’re reacting to that statement.  But I can imagine a range of responses like:

• I’m going to prove you wrong.  I will be good enough. Watch me work.  (pride, self-righteousness)
• I already knew this was pointless. Our marriage will never change. (hopelessness)
• I’m a failure before I start.  This is so typical. (guilt, condemnation)
• Yes! This is so true. (gospel)

Only when we turn to Christ is their any hope for our marriages whatsoever.

If our motivation for building our marriages is anything other than our Savior’s love for us, than we have failed before we began.  Your motivation might look great from the outside: “I want the world to see what a God-honoring marriage looks like.” Or it could be less noble: “I just want him to pick up his socks and put them in the hamper,” or “I want to feel loved.”

But the only person in the world who will fulfill all our desires is not our husband; it’s Jesus Christ.  <— Click to Tweet

The God who became man, lived a perfect life because you (and I!) could not, walked willing to a death that you deserved, and rose again so that you will never walk alone is the only one who can fulfill all our desires.  He is the only one who loves us perfectly.  And the good news is that you don’t have to do anything to make Him love you other than believe in His sacrifice for your sake and glory in His love.

We shouldn’t be motivated to build our marriages by pride, guilt, condemnation, a desire to do right, or perfectionism. Those motivations will all land us in the same place: trusting in ourselves or despairing.

The only motivation that can truly spur us to love our husbands is the love of Christ. 

When we truly know how much God loves us despite every wrong thing we’ve ever done, when we understand that because of the work of Jesus Christ at the cross God sees us as if we have never done anything wrong, and when we feel that the Holy Spirit will always walk with us, encouraging and empowering us with the love of God, then that understanding of His love overflows into how we love others.  Because He loves us, our hearts toward our husbands can be changed.  And when our inevitable moment of failure comes, we can run to the cross and then to our husbands with an apology.

So, sisters, let’s check our hearts before we begin this series.  Let’s preach each other the gospel in the comments.  And let us not be proud of our own accomplishments or defeated by our own failures.  The team writing these posts is putting in hours of research, prayer, work, and mostly failure, but know that each of us are falling on our face each day in joy for the love of our heavenly Father who sent His Son to die a death we deserved because He loves us so much.