True Beauty

Julia and I are exploring the meaning of Beauty, intersecting Beauty with the word of God, and letting Beauty live in our lives. Inspired by a joint feeling of just not measuring up in the beauty category, we’re tackling some hard questions:

• What is Beauty? And does it reside in me?
• And when my husband says that I’m beautiful, how can I receive those words as truth in a culture that says the opposite?
• What am I going to teach my daughters about Beauty?
• And most importantly, what does the Word of God say about Beauty?

Join us as we converse about a topic that touches the heart of all women.
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Dearest Julia,
As you know, I am a first generation Christian.  No one else in my family has a personal grace filled relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.  My parents are wonderful hard-working people who reared me (an independent strong-willed know it all) to the best of their very loving ability.

But they did not know the Lord. They were not able to preach the gospel to me with lives and words.

So as a first-generation Christian, I often stumble on scripture and have no clue how it should look in practice.  Sometimes it’s a cultural problem: I don’t understand the cultural context surrounding the passage. Other times I stumble because a passage seems completely impossible to live out: I’m over come by self-condemnation.

When you wrote that you wanted to have conversations with your daughters that showed them:

I suddenly began thinking about one of those passages that I have stumbled on both culturally and with self-condemnation.  The passage that I did not want to be the one to address during this series came into a sudden focus.

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Melissa,

Oh, how your words resonated with me last week.

Truth definitely plays a game of hide and seek with me when I get into the swimming pool. And peering into the mirror in a dressing room trying on swimsuits?! Fahgetaboutit!

I often fret, Melissa, about the messages I will communicate to my daughters in those moments when I feel inadequate. The moments when truth alludes me.

My best friend growing up lived just a few doors away. We played together often. One day when I went to her house, she informed me that she was on a diet; she thought she needed to lose weight. She encouraged me to join her on this diet.

We were eight years old.

This memory stands out so vividly to me, because before that moment, I never knew there was anything wrong with me. I didn’t know to critique the size or shape of my body.

It wasn’t my friend’s fault. Her mother was constantly dieting and spoke openly about all the ways she was dissatisfied with her appearance. It was no surprise, then, that my friend followed suit, even at her young age. Her ears were assailed with that kind of talk.

I don’t want my daughters to have an experience like my friend did, hearing their mama express constant displeasure with her body.

Inevitably, my daughters, and your daughters, Melissa, will reach an awareness that they are different.

My desire and prayer for our girls is that they celebrate their differences. Delight in being daughters of The King.

How can we foster this, Melissa?

I have a few ideas. I’d love to hear your thoughts as well.

Music. My daughters love music. We listen to it often throughout the day. I’ve become very aware of the words in the music we listen to. I love the song Video by India Arie. Here are some of her great lyrics:

When I look in the mirror the only one there is me.
Every freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be
And I know our creator didn’t make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes I’m lovin what I see

Robin Dance recently compiled a great list of other songs with the same positive message. You can read her thoughts on that topic, and see her song list here.

Images. It’s been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. I want the images in our home to reflect true women with healthy appearances, not unrealistic, Photoshopped, waif-thin models. Let’s put thought into what our daughters see in our homes and what they see us looking at and paying attention to: in magazines, on television, in books, in movies, etc.

I’ve even thought about what kinds of messages girls get from certain toys. I remember thinking, as I played with my Barbie doll as a little girl, that one day, I would look like her when I grew up–itty bitty waist, perky breasts, tiny feet. Barbie’s dimensions, if she were human would be 38-18-34. I’m not even sure that’s possible!

I love Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty! They show pictures like this:

Words. Just as we put those encouragements and reminders up for ourselves. We should also have them up for our daughters. I’m in the middle of painting an eye chart to hang in my girls’ room.

Not just written words, though, Melissa. We need to have conversations about this with our girls:

What it means to be beautiful.

Who we think is beautiful.

What it is about that individual makes them beautiful.

This is such a rich topic! I could go on and on, but will stop here for now. I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts.

Julia and I are exploring the meaning of Beauty, intersecting Beauty with the word of God, and letting Beauty live in our lives. Inspired by a joint feeling of just not measuring up in the beauty category, we’re tackling some hard questions:

• What is Beauty? And does it reside in me?
• And when my husband says that I’m beautiful, how can I receive those words as truth in a culture that says the opposite?
• What am I going to teach my daughters about Beauty?
• And most importantly, what does the Word of God say about Beauty?

Join us as we converse about a topic that touches the heart of all women.
__________________________________________________________________________
Dearest Julia,

Truth is an elusive thing, but not because it is hidden. No, truth is found where it can be plainly seen—

In the word of God,

In studying the nature of things,

In the knitting of things unseen in a womb.

Yes, truth is easily found.

Yet, truth is still elusive in the physical moment it’s needed.
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Read the rest of this post here.

 Julia and I are exploring the meaning of Beauty, intersecting Beauty with the word of God, and letting Beauty live in our lives. Inspired by a joint feeling of just not measuring up in the beauty category, we’re tackling some hard questions:

• What is Beauty? And does it reside in me?
• And when my husband says that I’m beautiful, how can I receive those words as truth in a culture that says the opposite?
• What am I going to teach my daughters about Beauty?
• And most importantly, what does the Word of God say about Beauty?

Join us as we converse about a topic that touches the heart of all women.
__________________________________________________________________________
Dearest Melissa,

You are so right! God’s Beauty dwells in and among us.

It is easy for me to see God when I gaze at the faces of my daughters. I mean, really?! how could you not?!

And your girls?! Just look at those eyes!



It’s even easy for me to see His Beauty in the face of others.

               

For you created my inmost being; you  knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; ~Psalm 139:13-14a

Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. ~Deuteronomy 6:9

Brilliant! I have recently been putting a collage of reminders and affirmations on my kitchen cabinets. I need them in plain view, so that my mind and heart are smacked with their truth, especially in moments of doubt. I most recently hung this (download it here):

God’s beauty resides in me. He knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I hate knitting, it takes forever and it makes my hands hurt. It takes precision and a skill set that I don’t have. God knitted me, he knitted you, Melissa, and he knitted our gorgeous daughters. He didn’t just wave a magic wand, he took the time and precision to make us, and then he called us very good.
We are beautiful, Melissa! When we look in the mirror, we should love what we see.
 

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. ~Genesis 1:31a

Julia and I are exploring the meaning of Beauty, intersecting Beauty with the word of God, and letting Beauty live in our lives. Inspired by a joint feeling of just not measuring up in the beauty category, we’re tackling some hard questions:

• What is Beauty? And does it reside in me?
• And when my husband says that I’m beautiful, how can I receive those words as truth in a culture that says the opposite?
• What am I going to teach my daughters about Beauty?
• And most importantly, what does the Word of God say about Beauty?

Join us as we converse about a topic that touches the heart of all women.
__________________________________________________________________________

Dearest Julia,

As I sit down to write this, I can see two little girls happily playing. They’re simply captivating as they chatter together, pull pans from their cupboard, and push around their toys. Their delicate features light up with laughter. Their capable hands do the work of play.

I sigh happy.

These girls,
my daughters,
are breathtakingly beautiful.

By they’re not beautiful because their daddy and I think so. And they’re not beautiful because everyone who sees them squeals delight to be the object of their attention.

No, my daughters (and your daughters too!) are beautiful because…
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Read the rest of this post over at Julia’s blog.