Aug
17
2013I don’t know about you, but there are days where I’m so worn out I don’t think I can do one more thing. I need rest.
5 Steps to Finding Quiet in a Noisy World
It’s a balance – living in a digital world and still needing those simple quiet moments. It’s possible. But, it’s also intentional. Purposeful. And well worth it.
A wise friend of mine says that this lie is a dangerous one because every time we tell ourselves we should be doing “more,” it leads to less…
Rest by Downhere
Just this truth.
Aug
14
2013
It’s Wednesday here at Quiet Graces and that means today is the day where wives are digging in to the dirt in our own marriage and, with God’s grace, growing to be better wives. Today Julia is going there again. Her desire to live with her husband intentionally has her encouraging us to find ways to “ring his bell.”
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So. After writing my last post, I had Salt n Pepa’s, Let’s Talk About Sex, running through my head for days.
Any day with a little Salt n Pepa is a good day, I always say.
When I set about to writing for this series, my intention was not to talk about sex, necessarily, but rather loving my husband intentionally.
Sometimes when I write things, the idea I have in my head is not at all what I end up with in the end. I was always really terrible at outlining those five paragraph essays in school.
Anyway, before I move on, a disclaimer:
Sex is an uncomfortable topic—for some. And peering into someone’s bedroom, is even more uncomfortable (sorry Mom and Dad). You should know that Brad reads these posts before they’re published, and he has full nix-the-whole-thing-right-
before-it’s-due power. Several people told me they didn’t think their husbands would have been cool them putting it out there like this. Brad, rather than decoy, avoid, or make void the topic, was open to letting me talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. We pray that this peek into our lives encourages mamas in the same weary season of life, or maybe prepares you if you’re not a mama yet.
So. On intentionality.
I don’t know that I have one love language.
I feel loved when people are intentional. We’re all busy people, right? But, when someone takes a moment to
- bring me a cup of coffee
- give me a hug
- spend time chatting with me
- create the perfect gift that they know I’ll appreciate
I feel loved. Because I know…giving is sacrifice, and people give to what they love.
Giving takes intention. It takes planning and work.
In this season of life I have come to appreciate, even more than before, the people who have poured into my life. Because it’s a choice. And when we give to someone/something it takes away from something else.
When I haven’t slept a stretch of 3+ hours in over two months, and my husband brings up that he wants some lovin’, really, that’s a wake-up call to me—after I calm down, maybe the next day or something—that I haven’t been intentional enough.
Not in the guilt-trip sorta way, but the this-is-the-man-I-love-more-
So, yeah, Brad likes sex sometimes (so do I)—that’s one way he feels loved and connected to me. He also feels loved with words. And when I make him lasagne. And when we watch Walking Dead together, because zombies = love.
He really feels loved when I initiate sex/words/lasagne/zombies—
So, ladies. You’ve studied your man enough to know what rings his bell.
Be intentional.
Show some love to the human you love best in all the world, in a way he best feels love.
He may never have run through an airport for you, but he loves you by watching the kids while you work. Or by working long hours, so you can love your children at home, in yoga pants. Or by putting the daughter back to bed who needs her twisted covers straightened out at 2AM. Or by weeding your pumpkin patch. Or by making you coffee, even though he doesn’t like the way it smells. Or by putting the pacifier back in one.more.time.
I know you’re bone-weary, Mama.
So, make a plan. How will you love him intentionally today?
Aug
10
2013I had my last baby almost two years ago. He makes us laugh more than we could ever imagine with his trailing blanket, every day abuse of the English language, and his manipulate (but adorable) requests for “guggles” (snuggles). My first two babies are going to be four soon. Those two who stretched me at one time to a waistline of 52″ wide and after their arrival a nursing bra size of 32GG. They’re just under 4 feet tall now and can’t hold up a single pair of pants that are the correct length for them. But they skip, twirl, climb trees, and laugh loud. Walking around outside of my body is nearly 90lbs of children all of whom were nourished solely by my body for 15 months apiece from conception to the introduction of the first solid food.
I used to have a waistline of 30″ and, while I’ve always had hips for miles, I loved that skinny waist. I’m doing a 90 day fitness challenge in hopes of firming up my now 35″ waist, but around the front of my stomach is a pile of mostly saggy droopy skin that has the texture of bread dough. I’m pretty sure that no matter the measurement around my waist, there will always be excess skin in that region.
The landscape of my postpartum stomach.
I work with new mothers in this fragile time withing two weeks of the birth of their children. They come to me wearing nursing tanks or blousy tops and maternity jeans. They look at me wild and wide eyed when I ask them to step into the picture. This is their first portrait as a mother and I coax them gently to be involved. They are reluctant because everyone has told them: they should look better. Their child is less than 20 days old and they should look better. It makes me want to cry.
And then Kate Middleton had her son. And the media was outraged at her 24 hour post baby bump. But us mothers, we looked on and felt validated. A real women with a real body. There’s been a lot of posts floating around in response to the negative things said in the media. The following may very well be my favorite.
What I Want my Daughter to See When She Touches My Belly
“I dream of a world where a new mother can leave the house in the morning — in ill-fitting maternity clothes because nothing else fits her large and slowly deflating belly, with greasy hair and puffy eyes from the hours/days/weeks she’s been functioning without sleep, with a leaking shirt from her breasts that are constantly churning and adjusting to make just the right amount of milk for the tiny young babe who depends on her for every last thing — a world where this woman can leave the house with her babies in tow (up and out in the world because her toddler’s need for playtime trumped her need for a blow dry. Or a nap)
— And this woman TURNS OUR HEADS (not out of pity “oh bless her heart”) and TAKES OUR BREATH AWAY (not because we think she looks like the “before” picture of an ambush makeover) but because she is LITERALLY The Most Beautiful Thing We’ve Ever Seen.
She is a superhero
She is a goddess
She is a MotherDrop-dead gorgeous not in spite of the things that make her so, but because of them.”
Aug
07
2013 It’s Wednesday here at Quiet Graces and that means today is the day where wives are digging in to the dirt in our own marriage and, with God’s grace, growing it better wives. Today Sarah is writing about the power of looking at our husbands with “Jesus Eyes”. Read on to see what she means.
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My brain was racked for what to write about in my post today (which is almost a week late, might I add). However, once I chilled out and simply thought about what the Lord was teaching me lately, a little light bulb went off.
How often do we as wives and our spouses mess up? Daily.
Are we supposed to have our goal be the strive to perfection? No. That’s not the point of the gospel.
Our goal should be to gaze uninterruptedly and adoringly at our beautiful and loving Savior. When that is done, don’t things go smoother in your marriage? Keep in mind by smooth I don’t mean without life’s challenges, temptations, victories and perseverance. I just mean it’s easier for us, as wives, to look at our husband’s with (what I call) our “Jesus eyes” on.
I’ll be very honest. It’s extremely easy for me to take off my “Jesus eyes” and look at Lee in the wrong light. When I do that, I often look at him critically. Is that fair? Does Jesus look at us critically? No, He doesn’t. He looks at us adoringly because of what He did at the cross. We are now the resemblance of His Son and that is beautiful.
Kind of humbling, right? Yes. It’s humbling to me to the point of my tired eyes watering and hanging my head in repentance for my short comings.
How as wives can we keep our gaze on Jesus and our “Jesus eyes” on our husbands?
- You bring Jesus your sin. You come to him angry, bitter, broken-hearted or just down right crummy feeling (whatever your emoticon is for the day).
- Rest in His presence. Yup, He knows your heart. He knows it at it’s worst and He knows it at its best. He desires to be with you. So, you go to Him. You heal. You read His words. You recover and you go back out into your day with your Wife and Mommy cape flying. There will be a smile on your face knowing that you’ve just been engulfed in the presence of the Lord and He didn’t tear you down once. He built you up and reminded you of whose you are and who you are.
That’s how, we as wives, keep growing by the grace of God with faith.
Aug
02
2013I haven’t done any photography specific links for the weekend yet. So this is a little extra credit work for those of you who want to learn how to get better exposures.
Your Camera’s Best Kept Secret
I totally think this post is going to help those of you who are more visual. It’s a combination post covering both exposure and in-camera metering.
Nailing Exposure
Love the style of writing on this. Informative and funny. And she explains so well what I tried to explain in our exposure compensation post. Figure out where your camera makes exposure fall for your tastes and adjust up or down the correct number of stops (or third stops) to get images looking the way your imagine.
One Camera Setting & It’s Impact on your Pictures
So you’re doing everything right, testing your lighting, looking at your image on your LCD screen, changing your setting accordingly, and then making sure you nailed it on your LCD again. A few hours later your upload to the computer and wonder where on earth your nice pictures went?! This might just be a setting you need to change.
