Feb
27
2012
Sometimes joy is eclipsed by pain.
You know those days?
Baby up howling in pain you can’t fix.
Toddler throwing defiant tantrums.
Husband and wife short with one another.
Sleeplessness.
Busyness.
I’ve had a week or two of these things.
Hard eucharisteo.
That baby in pain? How blessed I am to have him screaming in my arms.
That defiant toddler (or two)? They’re shrieking in frustration means their breathing.
That husband? He loves me: despite my sin.
That sleeplessness: It’s probably temporary.
That busyness: March’s calendar looks blissfully empty.
And in the middle of those string of days: a perfect day.
2000 yards swam in a pool.
an hour or so serving Aunt Ruthie at the church.
Chalk in the back yard.
Good long coinciding naps.
An uneventful trip to the library (which is a big deal in this house).
Dinner spent as secret shoppers at the delicious family style Cade’s Dinner House.
The evening spent laughing and relating to other moms in my MOPs group
I couldn’t ask for more. I’m blessed beyond measure… even if I never stop to measure it.
Measuring out 3014-3038 gifts He keeps giving.
- Fun in a pot full of lentils
- Perfect sliver of shade across Sedryn’s face
- weather warm enough to romp outside
- 4 day with no pee accidents
- Tara coming over to watch my girls for Sedryn’s 4 month appointment
- How much fun the kiddos had romping in the yard
- Precious 1 on 1 time with the boy
- him eating it up
- Perfect Thursday
- Helping Ruthie take down tables
- Laughing at the vacuum scared girls
- Loooong nap for 3 exhausted littles
- Some 1 on 1 time with Aeralind drawing and chatting while B slept long
- A library success
- Yummy food at Cades
- Best pot roast ever
- Fish hating Bronwyn pulling catfish off the family style plate every time we turned around
- Derek taking all three home while I went to MOPs mom’s night out
- Talking with Jessica, Joni, and Mandy
- Laughter
- Fun morning at Becky’s
- Having Sedryn freak out before I went to bed this time
- Isolating the cause of the insane pain scream: eggs
- Derek and girls leaving me and Sedryn to snuggle
- Strength given for each day despite being on the brink of exhaustion
Feb
21
2012
I’m beyond exhausted today, so I don’t have much to say.
Well, besides isn’t that squirrel eating one of our compost bagels the funniest thing ever? Bird watching Derek calls these bagels (free day old bread that we don’t always go through fast enough)our “hawk feeder”? Get it? Yeah… we’re nerds around here…
#2999-3013 gift poured out like running water this week. (3000?! How did that happen?)
- Sleeping til 4:30 before Sedryn woke for the first time in weeks
- Showing the girls Moonbeam’s ‘gift’ of a dead mouse
- Girls taking my face in their tiny hands and turning it to glory at the Carolina wren on their homemade feeders.
- Little boy falling into a daytime routine
- Hearing little voices ask for a “smooch”
- Sedryn asleep with his legs on top of a pillow
- Learking that Sedryn likes to sleep with a pillow on his chest
- Being born in a video era
- Sharing hand-me-down blessings
- Play-doh
- Bronwyn walking around in my socks
- Aeralind dancing and rolling her hands in a parking lot
- Sedryn finding his squealing voice
- The way Aeralind says “Yesss” with a lisp
- Bronwyn using her strong will for good: potty training herself!!!
Feb
14
2012We had a sick drowsy week at home. Lots of sleeplessness. And whining. And praying for patience.
But there was still so much beauty: even in the hard times.
And maybe that’s what all this is about. Worshiping God in the hard times: just because of who he is: Beauty itself.
2979-2998
- Derek staying home to love on his 3 sick women
- Sedryn being a much kinder sick baby this time around
- A & B having a party with their animals where they mad them eat felt eggs, cheese, and donuts
- Warm “moose” suit/bunting from my sister
- The magic of Vick Vapor rub on my feet stopping my runny nose for a time
- Free bagels & homemade pumpkin cream cheese
- Snuggling in bed & singing & doing finger plays with the girls for 30 minutes
- Two crazy toddlers jumping in the shower with me
- Haircuts hopefully making hair combing easier
- Dreaming big dreams
- A girls night with Tiffany
- Ali posting about this video on Facebook
- Hawk calling overhead
- Refresh
- Standing outside talking to Karen for hours
- Derek-made drying rack
- Laying with Derek and watching our boy roll over intentionally for the first few times
- Capturing that 3rd roll on video
- Derek and girls letting me sleep til 10:30
- Feeling slightly human again after a sick, sleepless week
Feb
06
2012I’ve long avoided taking the three to the library alone.
My hands are outnumbered. Overflowing.
The people there look at us judging for our noise.
And Bronwyn, strong-willed Bronwyn who could change the world, running and screaming and throwing a fit when I tell her it’s time to leave the computers in the back.
I took a leap of faith Monday. We went the library. All three and just me.
I prepared her little heart: “Bronwyn, we’re going to go to the library. You can play on the computer, but when mommy says it’s time to go, I want you to obey and come with me. If you don’t come, I’ll have to discipline you.”
We’d been practicing come every time I had to discipline her for disobeying that simple command. I’d step back and ask her to come. And if she didn’t, I’d grab her hand and walk her to the spot where I once stood and give her a giant hug. I’d step back and ask her to come again, and she’d come flying for the giant hug.
I wish I could tell you she obeyed. But the truth is, she went flying down the library aisle in the opposite direction, screaming like a wild banshee when I said, “Bronwyn, come. It’s time to leave.”
Two days later, we’re walking around a lake. Little strong-willed Bronwyn, walks up beside me.
“Hand.” She demands.
And I reach down to hold her tiny fingers. To express love despite her heart full of sin (not so unlike my own).
And I think: Isn’t this just like Him?
Christ loved me at my darkest. He loved me while sin still reined in my heart. He loved me and died for me when I was still unborn… but he knew how my strong-willed heart would go…
But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
The least I can do in return is hold this little strong-willed hand whenever she asks and keep correcting and praying for this little heart.
2962. Little Bronwyn asking to hold my hand
2963. Conversations about fear, relationships, and mothering
2964. Grace gained affirmation
2965. Gray Squirrel patterning in the leaves
2966. Aeralind playing T-ball and squealing
2967. Seeing Daylin’s first loose tooth
2968. Watching Brady take care of the girls
2969. Knitting prayers for my neighbor
2970. Slow braised Brussels sprouts in bacon grease
2971. Groceries for over a week coming in at $52
2972. Yogurt popcicles being a super real food ice cream substitute.
2973. Rough night with Sedryn making me too sleepy to listen to a sermon but just perfect to fill an empty spot in the 1 year-old nursery
2974. Snuggling with the boy-son
2975. Sedryn discovering his love of a toy his sisters didn’t love
2976. Early sprint weather
2977. The music at Ann’s blog-how it just makes my heart want to find joy in the now
2978. Being loved in my darkest moment.
Jan
31
2012The workout instructions said I would swim 2000 yards.
I’d left the last two workouts of less than that winded and sore, hardly able to carry Sedryn’s carseat back to the car.
I took a deep breath and dove in: literally and figuratively.
A little over an hour later I emerge from the pool: I did it.
The pace was found as I kept tempo with the clock.
As I sang worship under the water.
As I endured 2000 yards and most of it interval training.
Interval training.
Maybe that’s what life is.
God pours on a trial and I sink or swim.
Faith growing or wavering. Muscles strengthened.
All He asks is that no matter what: I give thanks. I turn to Him with open arms and seek Him. On the sprint yards and the resting yards.
- Hearing Bronwyn say “Uh oh! Doll! Naked!”
- Sly little look as I tried panties on Bronwyn
- Aeralind climbing up carefully to sit on the nursing pillow with brother
- Sedryn flashing Bronwyn smiles
- Almost 1 mile in the pool after months of vacation
- Sore body
- Ladies Bible Study back in session
- Smiley boy in my lap as I count graces
- Dirt on little chees
- Warm enough to go to the park in January!
- The fun of Hobby Lobby
- Finally two 2 hour naps from Sedryn
- A sunny spot to cut fabric during naps
- Toddlers roaring at each other and laughing
- Visit from Andy and her sweet tiny 1 year old Anna who is the same size as Sedryn!
- Andy’s grace in never mentioning that I had part of Sedryns epic blowout all over my shirt
- A meal I didn’t have to cook- so generous.
- Cheesy biscuit anticipation
- Clean baby hair smell
- Backyard to play in- even if it is a bit swampy right now
- Coffee table finally finished!
- Special package mailed to a friend
- the fun of the roc box
- still looking for perfect beeads
- Dirt on new shoes
- Brad’s Post– We’ve all walked this path- rejector and rejected. We’ve all cried these tears.
- A little experiement in the works
- Two days in a row with adventurous Bronwyn somehow getting her pans sopping wet
- Toddlers learning to meaning of heavy and lite.
- Talking in “fabric snob” language with Jo from church
- Talking with Mandy and Hannah and Lacey
- The words “But you have three young children!” So what I needed to hear.
- Deciding to go
- Giant basket of veggies from the Noisy Rabbit
- Getting my tail kicked at the pool.
- Surprise at how “fast” I am- even though I have no endurance yet
- Tiny fingers cupped softly at my chest
- Bronwyn deciding to wear big girl panties and having 2 successes and 1 accident
- Sedryn cooing loudly while girls push each other down the slide and I hang laundry in January!
