Multitude Monday

301. Allergy friendly menu at Red Robin!  How nice to know what I can eat and how to order it!
302. Seedling Babies: Tomatoes and a pumpkin and hopefully more to emerge soon
303. 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep 3 nights
304. Watching Aeralind roll. 
305. A sweet Bronwyn snuggle as I laid her in bed
306. Watching sweet little Reagan and her momma, serene in their nursery
307. Chicken Salad Sandwiches
308. Friends over for a vist
309. 5 little boys in my house!
310. Hanging out with Claudia and Ashley on Friday
311. Sailor collars
312. A church that believes and participates in Church Discipline (even when it’s hard)
313. Baby feet and toes
314. Teaching sewing to the Hopper girls
315. A car to drive
316. Bibs
317. Neighbors who care

I’m not going to pretend that mothering these two precious girls is easy.  It’s by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. My day now flows around their schedule; I’ve lost my ‘control’ over my life. I can’t leave them for more than 4-5 hours or I have to chain myself to a pump (which is somewhat painful these days). What I eat is now catered to their needs and I am humbled every time I have to ask a room full of people or a waiter, “Is there dairy in that?” My body is stretched and flabby from gestating them and scarred from their entrance.  My back hurts from leaning down to feed them. I never know whether I’ll be granted 8 hours of consecutive sleep or just 3. My brain cells seem to have hidden themselves in some forgotten place.  My house is more of a wreck than ever before. Time to pursue my own interests is limited until I can predict how long they will nap. I’m so exhausted most days that I struggle to meet my husband’s needs.

But this soon shall pass.

The constant tiredness, the bench in my living room strew with burp rags and bibs, the days of trying to squeeze into just one pair of pants I used to wear (after both pairs that do fit are covered in spit up), the waking at 2:30 or 4:30, and the compulsive label reading and wondering how to get enough calories to feed all 3 of us…

It will soon pass. And when all the chaos and unpredictability passes, when all the exhausted tears dry up, when all the diaper changing/washing days are gone, when I can actually manage to get dinner on the table more consistently then will I look back and miss this time? Will I wonder what I missed while I was too busy complaining, too busy wondering why my needs/wants are always last, too busy wallowing in selfishness?

This soon shall pass.  I will pause this moment to celebrate. To reach down into this different life I’m living and claim what is good, what is right, what is holy.  To bring it to Him and thank Him.  To remember that my purpose here is greater than changing diapers, or even being a mother; my purpose is point to Him and love greatly.  My purpose is to wallow in His grace.  To send my smile back up at Him as my girls smile up at me– happy to matter to someone.

So I will stop here in this crazy moment to celebrate briefly the glorious gifts that will soon pass unmentioned.

264. Waking up at 2:30, 5:45, 8:30 to little girls cooing in the dark.
265. Having little girls to wake up to at all.
266. Reading The Pout Pout Fish in chorus with my husband as two girls grin.
267. Being unable to finish writing a single blog post without being interrupted to provide nourishment to a wailing baby
268. Babies falling asleep silently while playing
269. Oh those beautiful crazy happy smiles first thing in the morning!
270. Crazy little laughs that sound almost like a wheezing asthmatic: Ah-ha Ah-Ah
271. Smiling at me while they nurse
272. A baby who whines herself to sleep
273. Waking up to coughing
274. Watching them stare distractedly at the world
275. 6 hours of consecutive sleep (8 hours for them)
276. Surprise spit up down my pants, on my tummy, all over daddy’s arm, shot up into their own eyes
277. The frustrated looks and noises they make when on their tummies because they know they know how to roll over but can’t quite remember the correct sequence of movements.
278. The intense concentration etched on their faces as they reach for a toy I dangle in front of them
279. Trying desperately to bend their little knees in order to stuff their legs back in their footed sleepers.
280. How they must thump thump thump as soon as we free them from their diapers
281. Literally having the bathe Bronwyn because of an epic diaper blowout
282. Aeralind constantly rolling back to belly and then whining because she can’t figure out how she got there
283. Non stop chatter at the cow or the caterpillar or mommy and daddy or their sister
284. Watching them discover the world
285. Derek telling all three of us made up dragon stories
286. Turning their heads to our voices
287. Answering a million questions while strangers coo over them
288. Feeling them collapse in our arms with exhaustion
289. Humbly asking other for help to open doors when I’m out
290. Having automatic admission to the twin play group.
291. Watching them eat their bibs
292. Close to tripling birthweight by 6 months
293. Sitting with daddy playing computer games
294. The sweet scent of shampoo and spit up
295. Those curly eyelashes
296. Little eyes looking for me across the room
297. Bronwyn in the Bumbo chair on our table while we eat dinner
298. Little nails scratching my chest, little hands pulling on my shirt
299. Precious smiles shared between ready made sisters
300. Sisters  holding hands and thumping their little legs

It’s been a busy few weeks and this week is supposed to be busier.  Breastfeeding support group, Bible Study, Shepherding Group, Dance Rehearsal, maybe a Playdate, and a Dance Performance. Whew!  But all of it is filled with grace and with people who speak grace. I am worn out by Grace.

250. My Bible Study Group
251. Sara, meeting her and her twin boys. The crazy sets of events bringing us to friendship.
252. Baby Reagan arriving safe (pleas pray as she has been sick)
253. Watching concentration that goes into grabbing a toy
254. Aeralind’s cheerfulness in the morning. What a joy to wake up to.
255. Bronwyn cuddles when she’s not feeling so well.
256. Snow melting on Saturday in time for us to get out of the house
257. Coconut shrimp
258. Hand-me-down toys
259. Blessing others with the overflow of hand-me-downs
260. Baby fragrance
261. Snuggles with my husband
262. Facebook chat with far off friends
263. Watching Derek “roughhouse” with the girls

234. Babies that nurse
235. 2 hour naps
236. Grown up conversation
237. Conviction
238. My Cameras
239. Random meeting in Lowes
240. Mango smoothies- Sunshine in a glass
241. Dairy-free cook books at the library
242. Clean baby smell
243. Sun dried diapers
244. Unexpected Valentine gifts from “Auntie Jen”
245. Sucking, munching, self-soothing fingers
246. Tired babies collapsing in their Daddy’s protective arms
247. Lying with him in bed, whispering
248. The smell of smoke
249. The tinkling of the wind chimes

208. First taste of solid food laughter
209. Snuggling with hubby while watching NCIS
210. Fussy babies at 8:00pm rather than 3:00am
211. Generosity
212. God providing for our family in a very mighty way after asking for prayer.
213. Car insurance paid.
214. Grocery gift cards received
215. Our estimated tax return should provide for all the baby debt with some blessings to share with others.
216. Pumpkin pudding (otherwise known as pumpkin pie without a crust)
217. Little Monsters

218. Grocery worker taking out my groceries on a day when I couldn’t avoid shopping with the girls in the cart
219. Creativity.
220. Ripples smoothed over with grace filled words.
221. Prayer
222. Pointing others to thanks.
223. Laid back babies
224. Ice crystal diamonds everywhere

225. Watching snow fall like gently blown petals
226. Icicle popcicles
227. Moonbeam lying on the couch next to me as I type
228. Sleep 🙂
229. A heater that works
230. Starfish toys to chew on

231. Maple Honey Turkey
232. A borrowed bumbo
233. Blankets