Multitude Monday

I’ve cut to the quick with words.
Cut the fabric of people to misshapen bits.
My own life, too.

Oh, but God!

He takes those pieces realigns them.
Creates in us new things.
Carefully jutting edges.
Easing seams.

Doing this all the while
Unrecognized by me
A new thing of beauty
A quilt of His restoration.

• A & B gleefully sliding down into their pool face first
• Sedryn sitting up regularly to investigate toys and watch his sisters
• Avocados and Salmon salad
• Pretty bits of fabric
• Sharing that the gospel rescues from fear and condemnation with a friend
• Many coming over to watch the girls last minute
• An hour alone with Sedryn at the Dr.’s
• Little boy sitting up and crawling like a big boy
• Finding Mandy and the girls playing with baking soda vinegar and food color
• A Mandy hug
• Hard decisions
• Early bedtime
• How I look outside to see two naked girls sliding into their pool
• When I pray a “silly” prayer about rearranging Sedryn’s nap ending potty schedule- God answers immediately- Oh, how He cares for the little things
• Sedryn pushing the big ball and crawl-chasing after it
• Seeing teh girls sit down for their tea party, hold hands, and pray “Dear Jesus, dear jesus. AMEN!”
• How we decide to watch a movie over going fishing and when the movie is over at bedtime- Aeralind says sweetly, “We go fishing now?”
• How Bronwyn says “Here you go, honey.” to tell me there was a tortilla to cook- echoing what daddy had said moments before.

I drop frozen meat and the crock pot on the counter.  Purposefully, I leave my husband with the canning jars.  It’s 7:00 am and these things can wait.

I skip downstairs to the best book I’ll read all day and a bit of quiet conversation with the One who made me.

Refreshed, I head back up to start my day.

3410-3439

• White moth fluttering at the window
• Encouragement from Julia
• Sleep
• Boy splashing in the tub alone
• Those baby curls
• Bronwyn showing reading readiness
• Aeralind’s pretend world
• Bronwyn loving Mr. Eric’s music with her whole body, dancing, clapping, and singing to the top of her lungs
• Aeralinds reserved enjoyment
• Long afternoons at the pool with gramma and granpa
• A night of restful babysitting at Joni’s
• Tortilla Sunday lunch tradition beginning
• A few good talks with Derek
• End of the a busy season
• Sedryn crawling around with that pizza crust dangling from his mouth
• A & B constantly singing “The B-i-b-l-e”
• Clothes baskets and boxes becoming everything from cribs to freezers to reading nooks without my intervention
• Putting up the fourth bedroom wall
• Paint colors
• Bunk planning
• A hard work project
• Days filled with good work
• Bronwyn and Sedryn playing together laughing with the zany zoo
• How much Aeralind is like me
• Quiet mornings with the Lord
• First night in 4 weeks where Sedryn did not wake until 6
• Bronwyn snuggling with Joni when we left for our date
• Aeralind being silly by herself
• Good talks with Derek
• Transparency in our small group leaders asking for critique and suggesttions

Slightly past 6 on Friday night, I erupt like a volcano.

The seventh potty accident of the day is nestled smelly in the bottom of a her swimsuit.  One of the girls had been yelling no at me all day.  The baby had refused to nurse his dinner. And Derek and I… well, we’re just not in a good place right now (selfishness, I admit it).

Oh, but the chaos there it’s not the problem.  It’s just the symptom.  The symptom of my own heart problems.

And growth springs only from chaos, from loosing control so that we can acknowledge the One who truly is in control.

I remember it while Sedryn is in the kitchen pulling open drawers while the girls beg lunch to be made faster.

I remember how Bronwyn was scared of the river current.  She stood at the edge of the current wanting the fun that Aeralind was having.  She even sat down a few times.  Always far from the current.

Aeralind threw herself in with abandon.  Careening toward the waiting arms of our friend Abel.  Squealing and kicking joyfully while the current carried her.

But Bronwyn wouldn’t throw herself to the current.  She wanted the fun.  But she wanted control of the situation more.  Daddy stood with her as she eased herself once again to the currents edge.  He created just a little chaos with a tiny push toward the current.  Bronwyn scared and off balance falls right into the current. She looses control.  Abel helps her out and the next thing we all know she’d jumped right back in to swim the current again.  A giant smile on her face.

I have goosebumps now recounting the memory.  Oh, to throw myself to the current of God’s mercy and grace and swim wherever He leads.  Knowing that when I am weak, He will strongly carry me forward if I just lean back into the current.

Thankfulness 3395-3409

• Cold hands on my toes as I cook dinner
• Boy tickled with himself over making noise
• Girls sliding into a bubble pool
• Spontaneous decision to head out to see Jenn and Abel on the 4th
• All the grown-ups surprised when the 2 year olds put the correct color coded pieces on the puzzle pegs
• Bronwyn throwing a tantrum because she cannot draw an A or B
• Feeding Sedryn Gelato
• Quiet time to pour out my heart with Jenn
• Watching the girls cautiously approach the river
• Bronwyn exercising her potty-ing in the woods skill
• Usually fearful Aeralind throwing herself in the river current after Abel showed her how
• Brownyn cautiously approaching the current over the course of 20 minutes and then daddy giving her the gentle nudge to get her started
• How she jumped right back in
• Able’s hair
• Long holiday recovery naps from all three kiddos

I’ve not much to say right now.

My body is weak as I fight off a dozy of a GI infection or virus.

My mind is working over so many different things and trying to make real words of them.

My spirit is just so convicted; so ready to grow and soar.

Just a few gift to share with you in the quiet:

3387. How I’m able to finish a difficult curved seam before my bobbin empties
3388. 8 month old Sedryn coming out on top of the stomach bug
3389. The way Bronwyn says “womper” and just love to wear her now almost too short romper
3390. Becky having a double electric pump I could have during this nursing strike
3391. Setting up twin mattresses on the floor for the girls and taking down their cribs
3392. Spray painting a star chandelier pink at the girls’ request
3393. Air Conditioner
3394. How when we go to install the light, run into problems, leave the breaker flipped off for 3 days, and discover our accidentally defrosted chest freezer: we find there was hardly anything in there but bird food

The Summer Days are passing quickly now.  Trips to the pool.  Visits at friend’s houses with sprinklers.  Late nights full of light.  Illness.  A baby who thinks he’s hysterical. Toddler girls climbing 6+ feet in a tree (does that make them preschoolers?  They’re still not 3 yet!)

And yet, still, I feel a void.  A void perhaps filled to the brim with the gifts but often empty of the Giver.

Isn’t that how it goes sometimes?  We get so caught up in living in the blessing, that we forget the Giver.

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth.  For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.  For his invisible attributes, namely, his eteranl power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.  So they are without excuse.  For although they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.  Claiming ot be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for image resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. Romans 1:18-22 (emphasis mine) 

Just feeling the need for so much growth in this area right now.   Of loving the Giver more than the gift.

3378. Pool Night with the girls
3379. Teaching the girls to put their legs all the way back and reach and pull
3380 Aeralind’s fearless step jumping
3381. Derek’s patience with me and teeathing sick Sedryn
3382. Cuddling late with a feverish Bronwyn
3383. Seeing Colleen after 6 years
3384. Colleen laughing and saying I was the same Missy “crazy and with giant hand gestures.”
3385. Squeals at the sprinklers
3386. Fun morning in Karen’s yard