Multitude Monday

It’s been a week of getting dirty.

Of painting kitchen walls and paint smeared limbs.

Of hanging laundry barefoot in the back yard.

Of sooty hair in the fireplace again.

Of kitchen floors still in dire need of being mopping despite the painting still occuring.

Of thunderstorms and late nights.

Of dainty little toes covered in mud.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Counting #1984 to 2023 of the simple gifts God gives each day.

• Little girls trying to drink the rest of their yogurt/cereal mixture after watching me drink my cereal milk
• Crayon marks all over the table
• sewing a Karen’s house
• Using my gift to serve others- hemming a dress and curtains
• Making a new friend who may literally live just on the other side of my backyard
• Chattign with Karen for an hour after the others left
• Karen lending me some maternity clothes- Super cute ones!
• A little girl with a pin chusion
• Picking up Bronwyn’s dropped pins
• Ashley’s great attitude in trial
• Frozen pixxa on a “I don’t want to cook” day
• 2 packages received in the mail on one day!
• The girls loving the bird pillows that I won from another sweet twin momma
• Such a generou package from Jen
• Bronwyn climbing down from the booster seat to go get her and sister some stuffed budies to snack with them
• Coloring pictures for daddy’s office together
• Pool nights with daddy
• Laughter between sheets
• Tiny painted toes
• Paint for kitchen walls
• Drop cloth for a slip cover
• Finally mastering running errands with both girls
• Teething (and terrible diaper rashes that come with it) being only a season.
• 21 months with sweet babies
• Endless toddler chatter
• Another fun day at Roper Mt.
• Deciding to take up furniture building with Derek
• Conversation with Julia prompting an unanimous decision between me and Derek to wait on the mini-van in favor of paying off our last debt and rebuilding the almost non-existant emergency fund with our tax return next year
• Pool time with Derek and the girls
• Half slip covered chair
• black bean quesadillas
• Wipes sharing kindness of strangers
• Sweet “virtual” friendships
• Ali coming to an ultrasound appointement with me and the girls on a last minute notice
• The girls actually interested in the baby this ultrasound
• Cool morning at the park
• Independent play
• Baby kisses 🙂
• Time to work on slipcovering the chair
• Soot dyed hair (again :-p)

Discontent.

It ought to be a dirty word… at least for me.

I struggle more with discontentment than anything else.  Perhaps it’s just a symptom of perfectionism or perhaps it’s really the disease itself.  I can’t figure that out.  Let me know if you have any insight into the matter 😉

Nothing is ever good enough.  My expectations are always too high (and often crushed).  I’m often critical of myself and others.

I haven’t found anything close to a cure, but gratitude is certainly the best medicine.

#1957 -1983 gifts

• 2nd trimester energy
• Peanut Butter on Little Foreheads
• Sewing Progress
• 1 Maternity/Nursing Dress (tutorial soon!)
• 1 Maternity Top
• 6 Training Pants finished and 4 cut out
• 4 Toddler Dresses Cut out
• 1 Maternity Top Cut out
• Derek coming home after stressful days
• Little girls drinking from big girl cups
• A & B gettign a glimpse of Little Bit, even if they were completely uninterested
• Swimming with 5 toddlers at Mandy’s amazing gradual entry pool!
• Finding Heathers Keys in my bag
• Being unable to find my own keys
• Mandy taking the girls and I home while stranded until dinner time
• Watching Aerie bounce on her asleep sister on the queen bed
• Girls taking a bit of a nap in a very unfamiliar place
• Sunglass playtime with Raegan
• A yummy meal shared
• Girls who slept through the whole night for the first time in 5 days after our pool/lost keys saga
• Crazy cookout at Uncle Q’s house
• Little girls chowing down on stranger’s food
• Keys finally found 3 days later
• Picking blackberries with babies
• Aeralind actually picking a pin for her bucket
• Randomly walking around the TR Farmers Market
• Swimming with the girls
• Slow Sunday
• Finding life vests small enough for the girls after finding out arm floats won’t work with such short necks
• Lifevest being 1/2 the price (and not neon pink) at Amazon!
• Potentially being able ot take both girls to the pool alone 🙂
• Bronwyn handing me a joyful bouquet of dandelions

There are still days where I rush all day and, by early evening, I just can’t wait to just rest and do my own thing.  There are days where I am frustrated by every childish whine.  There are days when I long for a clean, decorated, and de-cluttered house and frown unhappy at my budget.  There are days that catch me just wanted that one thing more.

But loving Jesus, the one who gave His all to love me, isn’t about yesterday’s failures or hurts. Nor is it about tomorrows worries or one thing mores.  Loving Jesus is about serving and learning and being content in the moments He graciously gives you.

It’s about making Jesus my one thing more.

Loving Jesus is acknowledging that every thing is a gift from Him.

From that little voice that steadily whines

to

that scorching sun drying your laundry in half an hour

to

 thos moments of pain and trial that teach me I am not in control

to

the simple fact that I can draw my next breath.

Gratitude is Paul’s secret to being content in all moments. It’s acknowledging the truth of what our circumstances are and saying: “I deserve so much worse- what grace that I have been given this life!”

1925-1956 Beautiful Moments counted in Gratitude

• Chick-fil-a family night
• Breeches mostly sewn
• Playing PBS kids games with 2 excited games on my lap
• Hugs from A & B
• Teething only being a season
• Lost rulers
• Random baby clothes loving from Auntie Jen
• Jen also grabbing a maternity dress for me
• Stretching the grocery budget to it’s max
• Still have in positive balance in our checking and savings accounts even if just barely
• Chalkboard paint on a bottom cabinet back entertaining the girls while I cook dinner
• Freshly bathed girls covered in oatmeal
• Getting used to cabinet doors again
• Whimsical cabinet hardware
• And incredibly fun (and exhausting) weekend with my parents
• Blueberry and cream cheese stuffed french toast
• Teething only being a season
• Dad made meal
• Finally pulling the girls in their boosters back up to the table
• Fabric shopping with mom
• Boxes of summery clothes for the girls
• Grandpa and girls playing on the floor
• Fun in the freezing pool
• Rest
• Listening to the girls clap to hear Rich Mullins’ Screen Door 
• Having Derek home for most of 5 days
• Orange shoes with toes worn from play
• Cool mornings
• Sun dressing
• hearing Aeralind say fish
• Beginning to not worry so much about their verbal language skills
• Freshly washed fabric hanging on the line

Sometimes I sit down to write these gratitude posts and I just feel so empty.

Empty enough not to have anything to say.

You see, I’m quite the introvert.  And this making friends with other moms things is almost worse than dating.  You ask her to come over for a playdate.  She does.  Then you talk a little.  You may or may not have similar opinions on raising kiddos.  You say good-bye.  And then you wait.  And wait.  Will they want to go on a “date” with me again?  Will they call?  Should I call?  Did they like me?  Are we too different?

Maybe this doesn’t seem to pertain to the first few sentences… but it does.  You see, my world is small.  My scope of influence is sometimes non-existent. Sometimes I go five days and only see or talk to the girls and my husband.  And while that world is large enough and blessed enough…

Well, God is pouring so many gifts into me.  Almost 2000 counted so far.  And I feel empty because I’m like the Dead Sea.  I’m just swallowing these blessings and, more often than not, they just stay within me.  I don’t often have an opportunity to share them with many others in my current scope of influence.  I don’t often find the opportunity to serve others spontaneously like I love to do because I have two children to chase. I feel empty perhaps because I’m stagnant.


How do you other moms do it?  How do you find a world outside of the raising of kiddos (or even intricately linked to the raising of kiddos but not entirely consumed by it) in which to serve and bless?

It’s not that I’m not grateful for this season.  I truly am.  There is so much joy and silliness and snuggles and laughter.  It’s just that I know I’m meant to live in community with others.  And that community is lacking right now.

I think that’s it 🙂  Now on to the real point of this post: expressing gratitude for that which He so graciously gives.

#1881-1924

• Lunch with Aunt Ruthie
• Playdate with Chanwey and her sweet Shiloh and Kayla
• Watching all four girls run around with snack cups
• Cooler Weather
• Sauted fresh from the garden sugar snap peas
• First 2nd Saturday at Roper Mt with the whole family in costume

 

• Watching the girls master animal noises and pair them with the real animals
• Childish glee in petting the chicken
• No major meltdowns
• Costumed girls playing in the sand of the trail
• A long nap after some Tylenol for sore teeth
• Swimming with the fearless girls
• Aeralind exclaiming ‘jump!’ before splashing into the pool
• Bronwying stretching out in the water and kicking
• An empty exercise room after two full swim diapers banished us from the pool
• The girls trying to climb into the mirror
• Aeralind pushing a yoga ball as tall as her to daddy after he bounced it to her
• Bronwyn running away from me squealing while pushing her yoga ball
• Aeralind’s encounter with the giant bouncing yoga ball only resulting in a black eye and bruised knees
• The book of James
• Lowes taking back the wrong hinges even after more than 90 days
• The right hinges in stock
• 3 of 5 bottom cabinet doors and child locks reapplied
• Derek’s glasses breaking after a message on asking God for wisdom when we encounter trials
• Those prayers resulting in finding a guy who laser welds glasses back together for $40. Sweet!!
• An unexpected sick day for Derek
• Derek’s illness only affecting him so far
• The feeling of a 3-day weekend
• All cabinet door fronts with final coat of pait
• 10 doors waiting to be glazed
• 8 door waiting for me to mix chalkboard paint for the backs
• 90% certainty that all painting will be completed by Monday!
• Having my kitchen put back together soon excitement!!
• Finishing the girls’ pillow cases after 2 years of procrastination
• Baby kisses including “mmm” sounds as they come to kiss you
• Random baby snuggles
• Aerie’s hair finally long enough to tuck behind her ear
• Bronwyn contentedly wearing ponytails so her hair isn’t in her eyes
• Last 8 teeth finally pushing their way through
• Beer Cheese soup
• Elements finally showing all my content and writing to the correct scratch disk on my user
• Almost finished with wedding photo edits.
• Date night out alone
• Babysitting swapping with someone I didn’t know 🙂

Sometimes I’m just overwhelmed by grace.
Money is tight here, especially with surprise baby #3 on the way.  We’re saving for new carseats for the girls so we can fit 3 across in our Corolla while we wait on next year’s tax return to purchase a used mini-van.  We rapidly meeting our family deductible of $6000 between ear tube surgeries, OB appointments, an ER visit, (what a blessing! We didn’t really need to go after all, but they allow a payment plan whereas the OB is a stickler about everything being paid before month 8!)  Things weren’t looking up financially for awhile.

But God.

(does anyone else get chills when they hear those words?)

Derek’s boss went on vacation and took a class leaving us with lots of overtime. I had a very profitable print order from a client.  The first client referred a second client to me!  The second client is super eager to order prior to Mother’s day.  We’re saving a good deal by couponing (though I’m not extremely good at it).

Suddenly, we’re so much more secure in the grace of God’s provision.  And completely aware of how much of a miracle it is.

#1830-1880 of the Thousands of Gifts He gives

•  Little bare legs dangling over my bare legs as we all read together
• Aeralind picking and attempting to blow a dandelion all on her own
• First coats of real pain on the kitchen cabinet doors
• Perfect color of green-blue
• Taking Ryan Elizabeth’s photos
• Ryan’s parents enjoying snuggling on the bed while I took photos
• Their trust giving me the confidence to try the harder poses
• Ryan just sleeping blissfully
• The unexpected way I keep recieving business with having spen any money on marketing
• Outside worship service with the entire church.
• Little girls beggin lawn chairs, snuggled, and toys off all the nearby families
• Derek graciously painting cabinets with me
• Going strawberry picking

• Watching the girls eyes light up as they realized just what was growing on those plants
• Laughing hysterically as the girls ate their weight in strawberries while we picked (ok, so maybe I exaggerate)
• Girls squealing in utter glee as they ran up and down a pier chasing after each other
• The smell of honeysuckle 
• Explosive too many strawberries diapers cuasing me to have to remove and wash the futon cover
• Half on the fram futon mattress becoming a slide almost immediately
• Excited squeals of “Daaa-DI!”  He’s such and excellent and loved father
• Thrift store shopping coming up with two tops for the girls, two PJ tops, two pair of play shorts, and white Linen (my favorite material to wear!) maternity pats.
• Contemplating tea dyeing the maternity pants 🙂
• Still being small enough to wear most of my extra long DownEast tops comfortably since all of my maternity wardrobe is with a friend due in this month.
• Shade under the cherry tree
• Salad with Catalina Dressing
• Dereking seing 48 species of birds in our back yard that’s a tiny quarter of an acre
• Magnolias blossoming
• Pea and bean plants flowering

• Volunteer tomato plants over 8″ tall
• Content little girls
• Breezes making 80 degress seem cool
• Feeling the baby move when lying in bed at night
• Girls practically crying because they didn’t know how to defend me from the scary blood pressure cuff or the heart beat doppler
• Barefoot girls running free
• Listening to the girls talk to one another
• Being able to understand about 5% of whaty they’re saying
• Hard conversations with Derek
• The grace to hear
• Little footprints all over freshly painted cabinet doors
• Editing 40 pictures in two days for a mother’s day rush
• Little girls giving kisses
• Lamb on last day sale snatched up by hubby
• Lamb made into Gyro Meatballs
• Cabinet Frames fisnished
• Mother’s Day Breakfast in Bed
• Sneaky Derek getting both sausage and bacon without me knowing. Mmmm!
• Little girls stealing and gobbling up one piece of my French toast
• Little hiking trip all packed up and waiting for me to eat and dress
• Seeing pretty birdies
• Frogs making noise at the dam
• Katie’s surprise baby blessing (nothing is impossible with God!)