Dec
17
2010She was tired. After a long mid-afternoon of eating lunch, playing with pots, climbing in a fireplace, and an unexpected fully-clothed dunk in the tub, Aeralind was having a hard time coping with being awake.
Seemingly oblivious to her needs, her momma whipped out the vacuum cleaner to tidy up the sooty mess left in her living room. Aeralind watched from the stairs as she plugged in the machine and went to work. But the vacuum was big, it was loud, and it was most of all scary. Her tiny face puckered up into fear. Tears threatened. Aeralind wasn’t sure how she would ever get through that moment.
About that time momma, noticed. She turned off the vacuum cleaner and knelt down to the terrified little girl. Aeralind wouldn’t approach momma, she was too close to the scary thing. Couldn’t momma just make the scary vacuum go away? But momma wouldn’t.
Quietly, momma beckoned Aeralind to her lap and showed her that the vacuum could be pet just like a kitty. Aeralind doubted, waited until Bronwyn petted the vacuum cleaner, and then she cautiously approached her mother. Swiftly she tackled her mother in a fierce hug at the point farthest from the loud scary thing. Momma kept petting the loud beast and asking Aeralind to do the same.
Twice she extended her hand to embrace her fear and twice she withdrew it.
Aeralind clung to momma fiercely.
Finally momma took her hand and lifted it toward the now silent terror. Together they petted the vacuum and then quickly withdrew.
Aeralind waited cautiously and then extended her hand to touch it on her own. Not one but twice she touched where momma and Bronwyn had confirmed a safe spot and then she reached and touched the base. Content that the vacuum cleaner meant no harm she moved on to other important matters.
Isn’t that how all my great temptations start? When I’m weary, when I think I’m alone with an unfavorable circumstance that too terrible to bear?
But God…
He is there and, though He may not look like he’s paying attention, He’s always ready to drop everything to be available.
But God asks one thing: that we draw near to Him so that he can help.
Sometimes when we draw near, He’ll put the vacuum cleaner away and hold us tight. Sometimes He’ll sit with us while we approach our fear. Sometimes He’ll even guide our hands to embrace that hard thing.
But He is there in that situation…
if we reach for Him.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 1 John 4:18
Nov
12
2010I think the hardest part about being a mother is wanted to freeze time. Oh, to be able to bottle up the essense of these beautiful children! I hope somehow that the photos and stories here capture some of their spirit.
Aeralind and Bronwyn are officially toddlers.
They walk regularly and they enjoy getting into trouble even more regularly.
Those impish smiles and sheer curiosity cause at least one unforeseen clean up each day. Between using toilet paper already torn off to the roll, to drop everything baths, to wondering where the bolt cover cap on my toilet will appear next, to being amazed at how they work together to create each mess, I can hardly stay a step in front of them.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Aeralind Grace isn’t quite walking yet. She can take about 11 steps if she wants to, but she’s all about perfection and efficiency. Walking is not perfect yet and crawling is wonderfully efficient. Especially if I’m trying to beat sister to the coveted toy. Her perfectionism surprised me this time around. When she was learning to crawl she practiced with such regularity and determination. She mastered the skill in less than 3 weeks before her sister had even thought of it. But with walking, she’s embarrassed at every fall even if we praise her non stop! It’s fascinating to see this part of her personality evolve.
She might not be walking, but Aeralind is a master at manipulating objects. She put toys and cheerios into containers. She empties boxes and crawls into them to play. She is working hard to master using her spoon. She loved to hit anything with her drum stick. No on and off button can deter her. Digging in mulch at the playground (which she is not allowed to eat) to find that one delightful acorn (which she knows she is allowed to chew) is by far her favorite pastime. This child is covered in dirt all the time. I love how meticulous and purposed she is.
Bronwyn Hope has been walking for about 2 weeks now. She decided crawling was not very cool and just went for it. She face planted all the time, but wasn’t deterred. It was so exciting to be doing something new! This weekend we’re moving her up to the toddler nursery. She is just so thrilled to be able to move a million miles a second (and believe me she does!)
In the early days I though Aeralind was my fearless child, but I think she’s more curiously meticulous. Bronwyn has no fear (as long as someone she trusts is near her). She climbs up slides. She’ll slide down a slide backward all by her self. She’ll approach small dogs to pet them. She climbs on couches. She picks up boxes bigger than she is. She flirts with every person she sees. It’s so beautiful to watch her develop into this securely attached person who just loves exploring her world.
Oh, my sweet wiggly people, I am so proud to share this journey with you.
Oct
06
2010I was suddenly struck the other day by how much my girl can communicate. They were in the tub and I was asking them for “Splashes” while they violently hit the water shrieking in glee. Wow, they understand so much! I thought you might like to be introduced to twin speak version 12 Months.
Aeralind Grace
Verbalizes
Momma (her favorite word)
Daddy
Hi
Signs
More
All Done
Claps
Points
Can touch her nose and tummy on request (if she’s feeling up to it…)
High Five
Bronwyn Hope
Verbalizes
Momma (rarely)
Daddy (her favorite word)
Hi
All Done (she mimics this one as I say it rather than saying it on her own)
Signs
Claps
More
Can touch her nose or your nose on request
High Five
Both Girls Understand the Following Spoken Words
No
Don’t Touch
Play the Piano
Splashes
Hugs
Snuggle
Nurse
Shake (as in Shaking a Musical Instrument)
Dance
Bounce
Come Here
More
All Done
Clap
Nose
Tummy
Eat
Drink
Milk (as in a sippy)
Where is … (mommy, sister, daddy, Bronwyn, Aeralind)?
The way is open (we say this when we open the gates on the stairs to indicate that they need to go upstairs and they come flying)
Book
Ball
Kisses (they’ll hold out hands for you to kiss)
High Five
Sep
12
2010One Year Ago I became a Mother.
That day still blurs for me.
- 3 hours at the doctors.
- 30 minutes at the library.
- 1 hour at Panera eating and reading.
- 1 hour reading laying on my left side, laying on top of Aeralind, agitatedly kicking me.
- 5 minutes of having rolled over to my right side, on top of Bronwyn, to ease my soreness from Aeralind’s kicking.
- A frightening gush of fluid.
- Panicked phone calls
- 20 minute preordained car ride with Diane
- 2 hours of surgical prep, fears, “Man Eating Fish”, husband in scrubs, flying down the hallway out of control
- 2 minutes of tearful prayers
- 30 minutes with the spinal craziness
- Derek rejoining, stroking my hair, and timelessness ensuing
- “It’s a Girl!” and breathlessly waiting for cries.
- “It’s a Girl!” and hearing the cries.
- A baby in nervous daddy’s arms (Bronwyn?)
- A baby in mommy’s outstretched arm and chest (Aeralind?)
My life changed in a moment. Richer. More Beautiful. Full of Laughter, New Insecurities, Sleepless Nights, Cuddlings, and the Blondest Hair I Have Ever Seen.
Little Girls, I love you so much!
(notes about each girl are on their brand new pages at the top: Aeralind and Bronwyn… pictures coming soon)
