05
2011Resignation
I run razor across legs to remove growth that was not there mere days ago. Half-awake, a sudden thought jolts me present.
Is growth always nearly imperceptible?
Do we only see growth when we’re looking?
A hard week has slipped by- one full of grumbling and fear and culminating in tears as I presided over a mountain of borax spilt by toddlers in the kitchen. A nearly nake toddler wrapped arms around me as I sobbed, both of us now covered in white dust. I feel weak. I feel hopeless. I feel resigned.
Standing in the shower, jolted awake by thoughts, I finally spot the growth.
I am weak.
I am hopeless.
But God.
I wrestle hard again with perfectionism. I am reminded again that the cure is humility, the surrendering, admitting, and (dare I say it?) the resigning to the power nad grace of God.
I turn off the shower.
I resign control to Him.
2194-2209
- Aeralind mostly stayin in her crib despite her newfound climbing skills
- Pool budddies!!
- Bronwyn so tired from swimming and playing that she actually asked for a nap
- Two snuggly girls lying on me, drinking water
- Fun Fat Quarters arriving
- Quilt half cut out
- Dresser almost done
- Only closet doors and a little glazing left before I can retire my paintbrush for 2011
- Unless I decide to glaze the bathroom with leftover paint/glaze
- Baby gates
- exhaustion when I over do it
- Play dates!
- Long naptime chats with my ssiter
- Papa and girls slding down the tall slide
- Cleaning with Derek
- Rest